You’ve been on several diets on and off for years.
You’ve tried exercising and all sorts of fads and trendy therapies. You’ve even lost some weight along the line, only to have it resurface some time later.
Your inability to lose weight and keep it off could be because you’ve ignored a very important factor. An open secret skinny people have known for years – the power of your mind.
You see the secret to losing weight permanently does not lie only on diet and exercise. You need to change the way you think about food. That’s the missing link!
The reason why so many weight loss battles are lost is not necessarily for lack of an excellent diet plan. Most people who are serious about losing weight already have this. It is because they haven’t yet realized that the battle is first fought and eventually won in the mind.
How many times have you started a perfect diet, followed it strictly and even lost some weight only to throw it to the winds weeks later after a particularly stressful day. You may have had thoughts like;
‘’I’m too stressed to diet abeg’’ while reaching for a slice of delicious pizza for example.
Or ‘’one extra slice of cake won’t hurt or (as we say in the Nigerian parlance) ‘’I cannot kill myself!’’ Then find yourself eating another slice then another. Then finally you give up the fight altogether and decide to blow the whole day telling yourself that you’ll start afresh the next day.
To make matters worse you might even have self-defeating thoughts like ‘’I’m so weak’’ or ‘’I’ll never be able to lose weight’’ which undoubtedly weaken your resolve and reduce your self-confidence.
The Power of your Mind
My point is – life happens and no matter how great a diet plan you’ve got eventually a stressful situation will turn up that will make it hard to stick to.
The thoughts you have during these tough times (as well as the actions you take in response) determine whether you succeed, lose weight and keep it off, or fail – yet again.
The sabotaging thoughts you have during stressful times are barely noticeable yet they will undermine your weight loss efforts every time – unless you identify and respond constructively to them.
Picture this scenario – You’ve been on a diet, and it’s going pretty well. Then you visit your in-laws for the weekend and are offered delicious (but fattening) meals, prepared just the way you like it. You eat as much as your diet will allow but then you’re offered second helpings. ‘’Don’t you like it?’’ your mother in-law asks…
If you have thoughts like ‘’I will offend her by not eating her food’’ you’ll probably accept a second round or helping, ruin your diet and end up feeling guilty. But if you remember the reasons why you started the weight loss journey in the first place (like to reduce your risk of hypertension and diabetes or to fit into the type of clothes you love) then chances are you’ll stick to your guns and find a polite way to decline her offer, and feel proud of yourself for keeping to your diet afterwards.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) teaches that you can lose weight and keep it off by learning to identify the particular situations (called diet traps) that repeatedly throw you off balance and derail your diet.
Having identified these situations, you can also learn to respond to the negatives thoughts they bring and take control of your weight – no matter what life throws at you.
Meet the Diet traps
Let’s start by identifying these stressful situations called diet traps most dieters encounter sooner or later. There are quite a few of them!
The emotional eating trap
You’re probably familiar with this trap. The desire to eat in order to satisfy an emotional need and not to quench actual hunger (which is the only real reason why anyone should eat).
Emotional eating is when you eat to satisfy cravings, get through difficult times and various emotions like boredom, sadness and pain.
People also eat when they’re happy or just for the pleasure it brings.
You tell yourself things like ‘’ It’s ok to eat extra tonight because I’ve had a bad day’’
Or ‘’I know I shouldn’t eat this chocolate (or ice cream or whatever you crave) but it’s the only thing that will help me feel better’’
In the heat of the moment you believe this self talk, give in to temptation and indulge.
Holiday traps
Eating outside your diet when away from home is the basis of this trap.
You traveled for business or maybe you’re on holiday. Either way, the spirit of adventure, something about the newness of the environment, makes the lure of food in unfamiliar places much harder to resist.
You struggle with thoughts like ‘’I’m on holiday so I should enjoy myself ’’ Or ‘’this is a special time, I should be able to eat whatever I want’’.
Sometimes you win and manage to suppress the desire to try the tasty treats that seem to be calling your name. But most times it’s a battle you’re unprepared for so it’s lost before it even begins.
Psychological Traps
Psychological traps are the chief of traps and haunt people with a self-defeatist mind-set.
Thoughts like ‘’I have no willpower, I just can’t resist’’ make it hard for some people to even see how much progress they may have made.
Whatever your peculiar trap might be, escaping from it will require a plan.
Planning your escape
Having a good strategy is the key to breaking free from any snare.
So which of the diet traps are you especially prone to?
Are you an emotional eater?
Is it especially hard to keep to your diet when you travel or are on holiday?
Think about the last time you ate outside your diet.
Imagine the situation.
What type of trap was it? (Don’t worry if you’re unable to label it)
An example of a situation with an Emotional eating trap might be – After a fight with a friend – when you’re feeling sad and are tempted to eat.
What went through your mind in that situation?
An example of typical thoughts for emotional eaters might be ‘’I know I’ll feel better if I eat.’’
Finally, How could you respond to this thought?
What could you remind yourself of that would help you stay on your diet?
An example of a constructive response might be ‘’Eating might feel good initially but it will only make me feel guilty later and worsen the problem’’
To summarize, to escape from your diet trap you;
- First identify the trap(s) you’re especially prone to.
- Identify the thoughts that typically come to mind when you’re faced with that tempting trap.
- Come up with a response that will neutralize that thought and reduce the temptation to eat.
Becoming a master escape artist
If you’re serious about overcoming these traps you must anticipate and prepare for them.
Wake up each morning and think about your day. Predict the diet pitfalls (traps) you’re likely to encounter then write down helpful responses to the thoughts that might arise as a result.
You’ve got to be deliberate and purposeful. No body loses weight by accident.
For example, if you’re planning to visit a family member you know to be a ‘food pusher’ – someone who insists you eat everything they offer you, you might anticipate having thoughts like ‘’I’ll offend her if I don’t eat her food.’’
Your constructive response to this thought might be ‘’I have the right to have a healthy weight. Even if she gets angry it will only be for a while. Eventually she will come around‘’.
Record this response on a small card or on your phone, ready for use when the need arises. Better still read it repeatedly before you enter the situation. You’ll find your resolve strengthened when you encounter the tempting situation. It might end up not being a temptation after all!
What If you face a surprise temptation?
Excuse yourself, go to a private spot and think about the thoughts that are running through your mind at that moment. Call to mind the reasons you started your diet- to stay healthy, look good, fit into nice clothes. Remembering these things this will boost your motivation to stay on track until the temptation passes.
If you still feel tempted look for ways to distract yourself. And be sure to give yourself credit for a job well done once you overcome temptation.
Whatever diet you choose to follow, sticking to it and achieving your weight loss goal is more likely if you learn to identify the situations that tend to entrap you and respond constructively to the sabotaging thoughts that might arise.
More weight loss strategies
To add to your arsenal in your fight to maintain a healthy weight, here are 4 additional tips that you can use with any diet and exercise routine to lose weight.
- Write down the reasons why you want to lose weight and all the benefits that you will get from doing so and read this list daily.
Doing this will help ‘keep your eyes on the prize’ and keep you steady when temptation comes knocking.
- Sit down to eat EVERYTHING that enters your mouth.
- Eat slowly and savor every bite.
- This skill might sound basic and may even be a little hard to master if you’re used to eating quickly or while on the go.
- It’s important because people who eat while standing or in transit usually eat without full awareness and so don’t derive much satisfaction. Because they feeling unsatisfied they usually end up eating more than they intend- hence the weight gain.
- Give yourself credit every time you practice any of the above mentioned skills, successfully resist temptation or make a positive food choice.
This will improve your self-confidence.
To be successful at dieting you must believe in your self- that you have what it takes to lose weight.
Dieting is not easy so you should praise yourself for any little step you take in the direction of your goals.
Don’t wait until you actually lose weight to do this or you might miss out on all the surprising benefits of using this strategy.
Giving yourself credit (telling yourself – ‘well done’ or it’s great that I’ve done this’) helps push you towards your cherished goals.
- Learn from your setbacks
No weight loss strategy is full proof. Eventually you might slip and make a mistake. Why not turn them into learning points?
Immediately after a setback think about the thoughts that would have helped you stay on track had they come to mind at the time of temptation.
For example perhaps remembering how good you would look if you had a trimmer figure could have prevented you from continuing to eat even after you knew you were full.
Write down these thoughts and read them daily. It will help prevent a future setback.
Many thanks to Dr Judith Beck and Deborah Beck Busis from whose excellent book – The Diet Trap Solution material used to write this post was culled.
It’s always great to hear from you! Please leave a Comment.
Questions? Feel free to Ask the Therapist.
Warm regards,
Whao whao whao, another masterpiece from Dr Anireto. ‘Diet Trap”, never heard that before. I learnt a lot here. Thank you so much ma, please keep them coming. Let me go tell others the good news about diet traps. lolsss.
—-
Solomon, Cedarcrest
Thanks Solomon! I love your enthusiasm. Yes please spread the word- I believe a lot of people will be blessed by this.
Thanks Doc this what I need even due I am
In between traps more of a tea person I find comfort in tea without sugar thanks
Thanks for leaving a comment! Most appreciated.
What a beautiful piece! If it’s convenient to you, could you please consider writing on “gaining weight.”
Thanks Kevin for your comments and feedback. I will most definitely consider writing a piece on gaining weight! thanks
All the exercise, the fad diets…all wasted! If only I knew earlier that the power to losing and keeping off the weight was in my mind to begin with. Thanks doc for yet another educative read. Keep em coming! To my gym instructor: OYO is your case! My mind is strong and disciplined.
I’m still laughing at your last statement! Pls don’t deprive your instructor of his job oo!
Thanks for the comments Bro
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You’re most welcome Anonymous! I wish you’d leave your name and email address so I could reply you personally.
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