If our emotions were a family, anger would be the black sheep. It would be dressed in edgy but trendy clothes (mostly black) fearless and rebellious but also the one who would give you his last dime when you were in desperate need and had nowhere else to go.
Clearly unrestrained anger can be extremely dangerous and destructive.
But when under control anger has surprising benefits!
_________________
Anger has a bad reputation mostly because it’s not always easy to control. Plus it demands immediate, radical expression! Many of us can look back and name one or more situations when we let our anger get the better of us and ended up regretting our actions, words or both.
But supposing we keep this emotion in check? Supposing we ignore temptation and give it controlled, rational expression?
The Hidden Benefits of Anger
- Anger energizes behaviour especially in adversity
Our anger is stirred whenever we’re faced with injustice, oppression or discrimination.
We take up arms in revolution, speak up against corruption and prejudice out of a sense of anger against a system, political class or people.
When under personal attack (verbal, physical or emotional) anger helps us mobilize our resources to defend ourselves, attack the offender or steel ourselves to withstand the onslaught.
- Anger strengthens perseverance
Ever seen a rebel who wasn’t angry? Me neither.
Anger fuels determination and persistence in the face of difficulties and hardship.
Oprah Winfrey got fired from her job as a news reporter because her producer thought she didn’t have the right persona for television! Unbelievable right? Well she was able to channel her anger and frustration constructively to become one of the most successful talk show hosts ever. She’s also a self made billionaire and has her own television network.
- Anger helps protect Self-esteem
Self–esteem is the way we see ourselves. Our own opinion about how worthwhile (or worthless) we are.
There are people who let others trample on them or use them because they don’t believe they deserve better. But stir them to anger and these same people become assertive and even aggressive in their own defence.
It’s as though their anger empowers and emboldens them to say and do what they were previously unable to do.
- Anger helps promote Survival
Anger comes with a surge of adrenaline (that primitive hormone that enables us to fight, flee or freeze when faced with dangerous situations) which helps us stay alert and sharpens our focus.
When we perceive threat (to our emotional or physical well being) we react in anger to protect ourselves first and foremost.
5. Anger gives us a sense of control
You get angry when you believe that someone has crossed the line in some way. Your anger erupts to put a quick end to the perceived injustice and right the wrong. Being able to react in this way gives you a sense of control.
In this way, anger helps us protect what is ours and prevents us from feeling helpless.
Unfortunately it is this benefit of anger that is so often misused and leads to abuse.
- Anger shows us what we really care about- shows us who we really are
Like all our other emotions, anger gives us insight into ourselves, shows us what our true values are.
We get angry at a situation when it’s in contrast with what we value and believe.
I once had a patient who would get angry whenever her husband ate unhealthy fast food. They quarreled about it to the point were it became a sore spot in their marriage. That is until I pointed out what her anger really meant – that she cared a lot about his health.
This explanation helped diffuse the tension which ended their quarrels. Before then he had seen her constant nagging over his food as her attempt to control him. She on her own part had not fully understood why she got so upset.
Our emotions are much more than by-products or meaningless responses. They are pointers to our deep seated beliefs and show us what we truly stand for.
The Bottom line
The emotion of anger per say is not harmful, destructive or dangerous of itself. It all depends on how we choose to express it.
The key is emotional regulation.
Emotional regulation is being able to express yourself in the way you choose despite feeling strong emotion. With regards to anger it means learning to control the way you speak, act or behave even when you’re angry.
We’ll talk about emotional regulation skills in another post.
Conclusion
Anger is not bad of itself. It’s a natural emotion that is designed to protect us from physical and emotional hurt.
It builds our perseverance and determination in adversity, gives us a sense of control and shows us what our true values are.
It only becomes a problem when it is not expressed in a healthy way – why emotional regulation is key.
Anger is like the unbridled wild horse – it gallops fiercely and can throw you completely off its back if you can’t control it. Dominate it however and you find in it a formidable ally and an awesome competitor on the race track!
I can’t wait to hear your thoughts! Please leave a Comment.
Something troubling your mind? Feel free to Ask the Therapist
Warm regards always,
Who would have thought…even anger has its uses.
Another educative and insightful read from our one and only Sunshine therapist! It’s always with a sense of joy and excitement that I read these thought provoking articles.
Keep it up Doc!
Thanks my dear Uche! The pleasure is all mine:)
Thank you so much Dr. Chika Anireto for this eye-opening essay on anger and its hidden benefits. Just finished going through and I agree with you that anger is not that bad per say. However, is it really profitable to say that anger is a good emotion either? I am tempted to say that the hidden benefits of anger are not constant because anger can also arise from selfish, prejudiced and pigeon-holed reasons, motives or evidences. While not disagreeing with you totally, I think anger should be considered a natural and neutral emotion, neither good nor bad. That is where emotional regulation you talk about becomes very quintessential to help one choose positive ways of expressing one’s emotion of anger when it arises.
Fr Justin Ekene N
Cape Verde
Thank you Father. I couldn’t agree more. You’ve summed it up nicely. Anger is more a neutral emotion. The
tilt towards good or bad depends on one’s motives!
Am really in school, thanks for this inspiring lecture, we hope to get better with our emotions as we continue to enjoy your wealth of experience,
More grease to your elbow
Many thanks Uncle Oche! Thank you so much for your comments. I really appreciate your taking time to read and comment:)
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